


Rabbit Hearts and Broken Starts

by RabbitHearts



Category: One Piece
Genre: Anxiety, Asthma, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Blood and Violence, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insomnia, Other, Panic Attacks, Possessive Behavior
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:15:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28866135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RabbitHearts/pseuds/RabbitHearts
Summary: Soren is part of the worst generation with a bounty of 250,000,000 beri on their head and an unhappy past. Upon landing on Sabaoby Archipelago, they meet an interesting collection of people with a wide range of personalities and view of the worldWhat happens when they find themself injured and crewless and dragged along to an unfamiliar ship?Being taken care of isn't always fun(not all of the crummy stuff happens right away, it's later in the fic)
Relationships: Trafalgar D. Water Law & Original Character(s), Trafalgar D. Water Law/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thank you for taking the time to read my self-indulgent fic, I appreciate it a lot!
> 
> Please note that this beginning chapter contains gross implications and a not-insignificant amount of blood/violence so if you don't want to read it, that is okay.
> 
> You can't skip it if you want to later be able to understand certain things. The first several chapters are important to understanding Soren's world and the way they see it
> 
> All that being said, I hope you enjoy it!

All Soren could hear was the way their new "husband" breathed their name, hungry eyes raking over their slim figure like a dog staring at the scraps on the dinner table. It felt utterly disgusting and they were only one of 5 other "wives". He was the wealthiest man on the island and would marry any pretty thing offered to him. They could hear their mother speaking to her friends, a sneer painted across her face as she stated that all her "daughter" was good for was being a path to her being rich. Soren knew she felt this way, it was always very obvious. 

And now their mother had gotten her way, throwing her only child to the wolves to have money. 

It had barely been a week when the man- they refused to call him their husband- expected them to "mother his son." The thought had chased them the entire week, making them feel nauseous and dizzy. There was no way they would let him near them in any state of undress. Like they had much of a choice in the matter. It wasn't long before they stood in his bedroom, the stuffy dress replaced by a black nightgown. They could feel the eyes of the other wives look at them in pity, the unhappy event familiar to all of them. Soren was the smallest of the 6 "wives", standing at a definitive height of 5 feet. They tried to hide their trembling hands, jumping a little when the door clicked open.

The man towered above them, a hungry grin on his face as he strode over to them. He was a muscular man with greasy hair slicked back. The stench of cigars and alcohol always followed him, making the small person feel sick. They offered no resistance as he led them to the bed, wasting no time in letting his hands roam their figure. Their breath hitched as he leaned down, going to whisper something to them that never left his lips. Blood trickled from his mouth, eyes traveling to the knife driven into his chest. He looked angrily back at the blood-splattered Soren, moving to grab them. A scream cut through the large house as they twisted the knife deeper into him. It took a moment for them to realize the scream was theirs, horrified by the sheer volume of blood pouring out from the hole in his chest. 

They managed to wriggle away from him, watching him die with wide eyes. Their eyes flicked around the room before landing on the one object they cared about. A deep purple fruit, swirls twisting across its surface. A devil fruit. They grabbed the glass case it was housed in, throwing it to the floor and snatching up the cursed fruit. Part of them felt drawn to it, something crying for them to eat it. 

It had to wait. 

Everything had to wait. 

They had killed a man. The most important man on the island. Someone would notice soon. Their mind raced, clutching the fruit to their chest as they tried to scramble for a solution. A window. 

_They didn't have shoes _.__

____

____

They always ran around without them anyway.

_It was going to be cold. ___

____

____

Not if they found the hot springs.

All it took was the sound of approaching footsteps to drive them to the window, throwing it open before throwing themself out. They stumbled a little before they took off running, long hair whipping in their face with the harsh spring wind. They couldn't stop. 

They had to get to the hot spring


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their only friend is the Moon

It felt like forever before they found the quiet hot spring, wind no longer bothering them. This was a sacred place. An important place.

They stepped closer to the hot water, clutching the devil fruit. A moment of hesitation. A gaze directed to the moon. She smiled down at the young person, her full beauty to be seen once a month.

"Dear Moon, are you certain that this is what I should be doing? I can't take this back no matter how much I may want to. I'll have to leave, even with your blessing…"

Their voice was soft, pleading as if the moon could answer them. They looked around the clearing, finding a jagged rock. It would work for now. They needed to change. It had to go.

All of it had to go.

A deep breath, another glance at the moon.

They quietly stepped into the hot spring, heat stinging against their cold skin. The rocks under their feet were smooth from thousands of millions of years of the water running over them. A few steps deeper, blood coming loose from their skin and clothes. The water was at their waist at this point, a middle point. A moment of peace. 

Soren took a deep breath, grabbing the long strands of purple, and with a swipe of the rock, it fell into the hungry waters. They watched it get taken away, a gentle offering of change. Everything had to change. They had to change.

They just hoped they wouldn't regret it further down the line.

Hair could grow back.

The next thing couldn't be taken back.

Were they sure? 

Was it worth it?

They swallow hard, looking at the beautiful fruit in their hand. The deep purple almost looked black in the night, swirls seeming to move the longer they watched. 

They took a bite, cringing at the horrendous taste. 

Another bite. 

Soon enough, it was gone, leaving Soren standing in the water. Their stormy blue eyes looked back to the moon they loved so much, tears finally starting to spill. They felt weak, unsure. 

"Moon, I'm trusting you. This feels right but is it? I hope it is…"

They retreated to a shallower part of the water, sitting down to start to wash the remaining blood. The smell made them sick, knowing that they had taken away a life. Their heart hurt, even if the man was horrible. 

The water had stopped stinging, now a comfortable warmth that soothed their worries. Everything would be alright. They were going to be alright.

Howls could be heard nearby, drawing their eyes to the tree line. The wolves had been angry for some time now. Bodies found were common in the last couple of weeks. 

They watched the silvery fur stalk out of the darkness, golden eyes meeting theirs. It stalked closer, entering the water in response to Soren holding their arms out. They had missed him.

Their arms gently wrapped around the wolf, crying into his fur with choked sobs. They were scared. Scared of everything except the only breathing friend they had. 

"Oh, Blaidd… I wish I could make my home in your warm den but that's not what the moon told you, is it? I have to leave and you have to stay… I'll be alone again, out there on the sea. It's okay, Blaidd… you've been alive for a long while. You have to stay with her and sing her those beautiful songs of yours. The Moon still loves you, Blaidd…"

The wolf gently nuzzled them, a low rumble coming from deep in his chest. He looked to his beloved Moon, breath visible in the cold of the night as he howled. Soren knew it well, it was similar to a common lullaby on the island

"It was a beautiful start, the wolf howled for her and she gave him the love he had not received from his kind.

It was a horrible end, his lover torn from him in a fit of anger. Her beloved wolf drew blood, the first blood of his kind.

It was a sorrowful journey, carrying her body to the highest peak to plead with the gods. Her body was long since cold, white fur stained a beautiful red.

He cried to the gods, pleading for his only love to be returned to him. 

"Please, my dear Cwningen did nothing. She was pure as the fresh snow, something I did not deserve."

He cried to them night after night, singing his throat raw in his grief. They did not fall upon deaf ears, a young goddess hearing his desperate cries. She did not have much to offer but offered the wolf for his love to live again

Her life was given to the rabbit, gracing her with the ability to forever watch over her lover from the moon. 

He still howls to her when she is here in full, pouring his love into every note"

Cwningen… the name the moon got from her island. Soren thought it was rather beautiful, more so when sung from her dear Blaidd. 

"You can tell the wolves that it's okay now, he's gone and I've been given the curse. I'm sorry to leave you, I know how much you would have loved to see her physical form again…"

They take a deep breath, standing from the water with the help of the wolf. It was time to go before anyone realized they had not only bathed in the springs but had eaten the fruit. Both could result in death, something Soren very much wanted to avoid. 

Their only option was the sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blaidd - wolf in welsh
> 
> Cwningen - rabbit in welsh
> 
> Welsh is my favorite language so if there's something in another language, it's Welsh unless otherwise stated


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let a bunny be depressed in peace

Soren groaned at the light from the window, glaring at the culprit who opened the curtains. He was a well-built man, often quick to anger and their first mate.

"Ezra, what the hell… I told you not to bother me on days like these."

The man, Ezra Llewpard, gave his captain a sidelong look, an unhappy frown at their response. 

"Soren, you haven't left your room for the last two days, you need to get up or this'll never pass."

They only gave him an irritated groan, covering their eyes with one arm. Part of them knew he was right, letting the depression sit, and fester would only cause problems. 

"Fine, I'll be out in a few, I need you out of the room."

Their ears twitched, listening for any protests from their first mate. He knew they were listening, something hard to wriggle out of. They could tell if you were lying by listening to your heart thump in your chest. They knew everything that went on the ship, even if they didn't leave their room. Those big old ears were a problem for anyone trying to get something past Soren. He found himself staring at them.

They glare at him again, one that told him it was time to leave or have a broken foot. He got the message and hurried out quickly, going to the kitchen to prepare something for his captain. 

Soren sighs heavily before sitting up, idly running their fingers through their tangled fluff. Maybe it would be a good time for a bath… dealing with matted fur was a hassle. They stretch, groaning as their body clicked and popped. Little movement for a long time made everything stiff.

They shake their head and get up, rummaging through their drawers to find the desired piece of clothing. It didn't take long, it was never far from them anyway. They gently tug the binder on over their head, moving the fur so it wouldn't mat under the tight fabric. It hurt a little to breathe, ribs complaining about the compression. Didn't matter.

Nobody could see them without it on, it would be too much. 

With another shake of the head, they dug out a pair of dark pants and an oversized hoodie with their jolly roger painted on it. They had several, it was the only thing they wore around others. A yawn escaped them as they prepared for the light about to assault their eyes. They pull the door open and walk out, soft paws making little noise. Shoes were stupid, especially in this form. All they did was make noise and be uncomfortable.

Shouts pulled them from their thoughts, looking over to see their crew roughhousing and drinking. Heavily. Seems Ezra let a lot slide when they were absent. 

"Hey."

The men froze, staring at their odd captain with wide eyes. Sure, they were small and, dare they say, cute, but they let nothing slide. If you slipped up, they would put you on cleaning duty or, worse, you would end up their sparring partner. Their unreasonably strong legs were the thing they were known for, deadly if their temper surfaced.

"I expect y'all to clean that up and put the mead away. We land in 3 days, I'd like to have something to drink aside from rainwater when we get there. Rock paper scissors to decide who cleans the gym, I don't care enough to assign it."

They wave dismissively, moving to go to the kitchen. The entirety of their crew consisted of misfits and vagrants, all of whom decided to follow them. It was a mystery as to why they did but one thing was obvious. They loved their captain and would sooner die than let them get hurt. It irked Soren to no end but it was impossible to get them to stop.

The sound of a ship hit their ears, drawing their gaze to the south. It didn't seem dangerous but they would prefer to avoid any ships possible.

"Ship coming from the south, change course to avoid it if possible. I barely have the energy to deal with one ship full of idiots."

They ambled their way to the kitchen, watching Ezra carefully make them a plate of fruit, scones they had made earlier in the week, and a piece of meat. He was too focused on this to even notice them entering, startled when they spoke

"Put that meat away, save it for the boys. I used protein flour in the scones anyway."

They grab a piece of fruit, popping it in their mouth as they pass him to get to the sink. The kitchen was spotless, just the way they liked it. Soren was particular about a lot of things on their ship and while they could brush off many of them at the end of the day, the kitchen was not one. It was widely considered their happy place, even if they hadn't said as much. 

Cooking, especially baking, was when they were at their happiest. Most of their worries seemed to melt away as they would combine ingredients without any apparent reason. In the 2 and a half years Soren had been captain, their crew was subjected to a lot of experimental baked goods and often the same ones until they managed to get it perfect. Of course, a lot of them were at least edible, if not enjoyable but the real treat came when they got everything just right. It never ceased to amaze the crew how it all fell into place.

Ezra frowned at his captain, watching them get into the fridge for some chocolate milk. One of their vices, he supposed

"You know you're sensitive to milk, Soren. I don't want to deal with you being cranky because your stomach is unhappy with you."

The rabbit rolled their eyes as they took out the carton, taking a drink directly from it. It was their milk anyway, nobody else was supposed to touch it

"It'll be fine, kitten. It's been nearly a week since I've had it last and I'm certain that it'll do more good than harm."

A huff came from the man, picking up their plate in a motion to take it to the dining area. They put the milk away and followed him, stretching. He obviously intended to have them eat the entire plate, especially now that he had removed the meat. Once the plate was set down, they waved him off without a word. They wanted to be alone.

He hesitated before leaving, glancing back at them. They often just sat and thought, staring into the ether like nothing else was around them. It didn't exactly make Ezra happy, he wanted them to trust his decisions and advice. Maybe it was a poor idea to make such a stubborn and willful person his captain… He loved them nonetheless, he had from the very beginning when Soren was timid, unsure. Easy.

Soren idly ate the food Ezra had set in front of them, resting their chin in one paw. Part of them knew they were essentially just a figurehead of this pirate crew, the one to place the blame on if something should happen. They took the brunt of the bounty their crew had gained, the numbers shooting up the more the marines bothered them. It was obnoxious, having to deal with them as often as they did. They crunch loudly on an apple, irritation beginning to surface. The crew ran just fine without them, they knew it did! Weeks spent in their self-isolation proved as much. Ezra ran everything and the crew listened to him. Maybe even preferred him over their cranky captain when it came to running the ship. The men got away with more when it was Ezra. Another aggressive bite of their apple. This was partly why they often gave into their depression; nobody needed them.

They finish their breakfast, leaving only the seeds of the apple behind. Maybe it would be better to disband everyone. If they could join another crew, they would actually have a role to play. Something only they could do! Maybe-

Their thoughts were cut short by the ringing of their baby snail tucked securely in their pocket. That only meant a job was being requested and the client had gotten ahold of the number to the snail. They sigh softly and get up, making their way to their room. Nobody would bother them in there.

The door clicked shut behind them after a strict order to Ezra to leave them alone. They settled down amongst their pile of stuffie, answering the snail with a lazy voice.

"Jackrabbit speaking."

The voice on the other end was nervous, like they were doing something incredibly taboo. Maybe they were, they had called Soren after all.

"U-uhm. I need some information about someone and uh… uhm…"

"Out with it. You called me for a job."

"Oh, s-sorry! I-I need information and s-someone… someone killed…"

A common request their clients had, it didn't surprise them at this point. They were in the grand line, approaching the new world. Their snail only picked up requests from the islands ahead of them. They didn't like backtracking.

"Alright. Something like that'll run ya 400,000 beri. You've got until I arrive to scrounge that up. I don't take payment after, it's gotta be upfront. What island?"

The person made a strangled sound when they stated the price, taking a moment to respond to their question.

"A-a naval base by the island Stormtrodden. I n-need Rear Admiral Roven killed and the records of prisoners he has kept there."

Soren hummed in response, trying to recall the direction they needed to head to get to Stormtrodden by island hopping and rides caught with other ships. It would take maybe 3 months to get there and by that point, it was useless to have their crew pick them up at the island. Sabaody was only a couple islands away from there. It would be best for the crew to drop them off at Cranenest and meet back up at Sabaody. They would have enough to coat the ship as well.

"I'll be there in 3 months, give or take, depending on who I sail with. You won't recognize me, I'm certain. I'll book a room at the Waterlogged inn. Look for the rabbit on my bag or door. I'll leave if you don't have the money ready to go when I get there."

They hang up before the person responds, leaning back into their stuffies. There was plenty of time to prepare before Cranenest and it felt somewhat tedious. This was how they made their money and they couldn't complain about the steady job requests. Gave them enough to coat the ship when they got to that point. They heave out a heavy sign and stand, exiting their room to talk to the crew.

"Set course to Cranenest, I've got a job."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bind safely!! Soren is an idiot and a fool!!
> 
> ~~I have no length quota for chapters, forgive me ~~~~~~


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being tiny and cute has its perks sometimes

It was quiet on the island of Cranenest, a familiar calm they haven't felt since soaking in the hot springs nearly 3 years ago. They felt bad that they felt so much better away from the crew, away from Ezra. Yes, he took care of them but he didn't let them do much on their own. He made their plates of food, cleaned their room, brushed their ungodly amounts of fur, and somehow always knew what they were doing. They could only bathe themself and even then, he insisted on helping them dry and brush their fur. It was stifling and only further drove them into a depression. 

Missions were different. 

They had all the power when it came to jobs.

The business they had set up was completely managed by them and it had resulted in many screaming matches with Ezra. He didn't like them, told them it was too dangerous. They weren't some child, they were 21, nearing 22. It made them angry to be pushed around by him and their little business was where they drew the line. One argument resulted in Ezra being severely hurt, nearly dead. They had been angrier than ever before and their crew had to restrain them, holding their feet off the deck. He still had a limp from the incident.

But now they could breathe, away from Ezra's inclination to control and watch them constantly.

Only he knew what they looked like as a human and they would greatly prefer to keep it that way. They stood at 5 feet tall, slim with a round face and wide blue eyes. A purple collar sat securely around their neck, a personal choice and modified to hold small emergency items. A small matchbook, needle and medical thread, multi-function card tool, compass, and their asthma medication, should an attack arise. It had lessened over the years but with how they were binding, it was aggravated. Still, attacks were few and far between and the medication helped significantly. Enough for them to use their inhaler properly.

Their bag, a black multi-pocket knapsack with a hand-stitched rabbit face on the top flap. A fuzzy rabbit charm hung off one of the zippers, adding more character to the bag. Inside was clothes, nonperishable foods, two water bottles, an inhaler, and a small bag filled with candies. A specific type of candy, one only made on a floral island earlier in the grand line. Lavender and rose candies, particularly helpful when they were stressed or upset. Their brother was their supplier and had been since they met on a random island near the beginning of their journey.

He was a tall man with a bright shock of blue hair and a grin to make anyone feel at ease. That is, if he was human. He was a zoan user, just like their sibling. An ancient zoan, a mosasaurus specifically. His halfway shift was much taller than his human one and frightening to anyone who didn't know him. A wandering merchant by choice, he had a knack for finding rare and expensive things, including medicinal plants and drugs not often found. Soren cared deeply for him and he was the only one to see them without their binder on. He would poke and prod at their ribs, frowning when they would flinch or suck in a breath suddenly. Their habit of binding almost constantly was affecting their health and he didn't like it.

Not that they listened to his concerns.

The binder stayed on until they were sure nobody would see them.

Their body hurt a lot.

It didn't matter. 

They shook off their thoughts, waiting until they saw their ship disappear and was certain that nobody had gotten off to accompany them. The walk to the nearby town was short, though it took longer in this form. Nobody would recognize them like this but they always regretted not working on their endurance or cardio. They did all of that as a rabbit. Nobody would suspect that a person as tiny and unassuming as them would be the captain of the Jackrabbits. All their posters only had their midway point, conveniently spattered in blood and a heavy glare. Whatever, it helped with their jobs.

The town of Crane's Hollow was quiet, sleepy, though not without life. The residents spoke to each other, knowing that they were safe from any pirate attacks. Cranes walked alongside the residents and would sometimes "talk" to their human counterparts. Charming, really. It wasn't hard to spot a marine. He was leaving the pub with his friends and laughing, talking rather loudly about how it would be nice to go home to Stormtrodden after so long away. Perfect.

They jog up to the group, putting on their best "lost teen looking for a way home" act. It worked nearly every time, especially on marines. They gently grab the shirt of the youngest marine, maybe 23 or 24, pushing a whimper to their voice.

"U-uhm… I'm, uh… sorry to bother you when you seem to be enjoying yourselves… I'm just looking for a way home without worrying about pirates…"

A quiet sniffle, crocodile tears. They had him hooked. He and his friends looked at them sympathetically, crouching down to comfort them without being threatening

"Hey, hey, it's okay! I'm sure we can take you home, we just have to talk to the captain! How old are you?"

He was kind, kind enough to almost make Soren feel bad. Almost. They sniffle again, leaning into the act

"Fif-fifteen…"

He smiles at them, patting them on the head

"I've got a younger set of sisters your age! Come on, let's go talk to the captain to see if we can get you home. What island do you have to get to?"

"St-Stormtrodden…"

The man lit up upon hearing this, a wide grin splitting his face. Seemed as though they had said the right thing…

"Oh perfect! That's where the ship is headed next so it's all the more likely the captain will say yes!"

Perfect, this would do nicely. They were ahead of schedule and would likely have some downtime before the actual job. Their appearance wouldn't raise as many flags if they waited a week or two. They wipe the tears from their face, giving him a smile to charm snakes

"Mkay! Thank you!" 

They pause for a moment, doing their best to look embarrassed or unsure he stood. A hand tugged at the hem of his shirt, puppy eyes staring up at him

"C-can I call you brother? I-I've never had a brother b-before…"

A lie, even if it was well executed.

He looked surprised when they asked him if they could call him brother before smiling gently. They felt their chest tighten when he gave them such a genuine smile. 

They hated lying.

It was a stupid thing to be concerned with in the world of pirates but they were concerned.

He seemed so nice…

"You're welcome to call me brother, I'll make sure you get home and unharmed. What's your name?"

Name? 

Did their name even matter?

They grin up at him, forcing a giggle.

"My name is Phoenix! My momma calls me Phio!"

A stupid fake name with even more stupid implications. They weren't a Phoenix. When they were dead, nothing would happen. They were just a shattered person with someone always looking at them, judging their every movement every decision.

"Alright, Phoenix! Let's go talk to the captain and get you home!"

He gently took their hand, leading them to the harbor. They followed him, they didn't even know his name. It didn't matter. If he ever saw them outside of this job, it would be in a situation of violence. Names bred sentiment, something they preferred to avoid.

People could be cruel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of this is just wrote and post, whoops

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is fairly short but future chapters will be longer


End file.
